Friday, April 2, 2010

Lesbian vs Old Maid

For women in their late thirties who have not been married at least once have two "global" identities; Lesbian or Old Maid. People assume that you don't want children if you've reached 35+ and haven't started a family. I often hear the question; "Do you think you'll ever 'settle down', get married and have a family?"
I'd love to respond with: 'Uh, yeah, that was my first plan but since that horse died alone without Prince Charming on my way to a PERFECT LIFE, I needed to find something more reliable like an Ox to pull my cart towards a different path, a new plan - such as becoming a single mother by choice.'

My reason for starting this blog was to help my family and friends understand why I am making the choice not to wait for Prince Charming to come and rescue me from my single life and just get on with living my life. Now that I can buy what I need from various "Princes" at a Sperm Bank, it's happy trails ahead for me. I also realized that that blogging about my journey has been therapeutic, and perhaps it may help at least one other woman feel less alone in making her decision to become a single mother by choice.

Something I have never lost faith in was the idea that someday I will meet someone very special to spend the rest of my life with. However, right now my biological clock has limited time left on the meter before my ability to have children expires. Therefore, I am choosing to become a mother first and meet my life-long partner second. I believe the person I will meet will love and accept all of my choices unconditionally, whoever they may be.

As for Lesbian vs Old Maid, neither label matters to me because I live my life outside of the "normal" box. I choose to live the best life I can, other peoples ideas or views of my choices are just that - their opinions. Staying true to what I want has been a bit tricky with choosing to become a single mother. However, the more I learn about my choice, the more secure and sure I am about my decision. Also, the more women I meet who have either made this choice or who are contemplating it make it feel more "normal" than it did originally. Life is beautiful if we just stop trying to fit into someone else's cookie cutter shape. I choose to use the cookie cutter shape I was born to be baked in...the shape of "ME".

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